I think I am morally bankrupt
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Success! We fucked roommates!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize