I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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