Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
her vagine was all disorganized.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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