It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
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