Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
