At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
