Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Say something about gay babies.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize