I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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