I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
