I think i peed on brittanys purse
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
