Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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