Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
