so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
