his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize