He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
