so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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