I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
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Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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