I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
