ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
