and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
