I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
