tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
