There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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