yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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