is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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