ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
