There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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