thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
