NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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