I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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