Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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