i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
