is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just saw a hot homeless man
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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