Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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