I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
