You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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