your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
