He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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