so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
