A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We don't watch enough power rangers
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
