is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
