OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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