Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
