my vag is so smooth its legendary
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
