if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I want to walk on stilts...naked
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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