Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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