Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
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I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You can't just leave with hair like that
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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