And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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