she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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