I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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