Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
