Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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