She's JV to your varsity
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
