I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
