Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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