She is in my trunk
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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