physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
im holly from the hills drunk
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
