'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
