I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
