where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize